Loljesus mocks all forms of region. If you are offended, go elsewhere, or better yet leave a comment – we love people that fucking hate us!
Religion the opiate of the masses
If you feel this site is a problem email me, and tell me why I should give fuck. If any images here are copyright, please notify me about the images with proof and I will remove them.
LOLJesus is down to one guy:
Jaygermiester – Head Inquisitor.
If you feel you have something to contribute (positive or negative) please do so below:
Where can I find that audio clip I heard a couple of years back that had some christian lady calling in to complain and one of you guys just totally go fucking off on her!!haha it was the funniest shit and i was telling my friend about it but cant find it-HELP ME OUT-PLEASE!!!
you guys rule!!
thanks
god uses enzyte.
I find this website hilarious. And I’m a Christian. For the record I can’t stand fanatics either.
It’s called taking a joke. I love satire and irony. =D
we are all god, when you ask god for something you really want – be it physical or something you want to improve, you’re really asking yourself to stop being lazy and do it. dont thank god for your achievements, thank yourself!
just stumbled upon this website and is awesome!
p.s people dont kill people, religion does.
where is god when children are beaten,tortured, raped and murdered? let me guess religious freaks, he does not interfere with how we conduct our lives. so we are to worship him while we are living and expect no help. then we will be judged how we conducted our lives and sent to the appropriate place. sounds like our government. it does not make any sense. if he was real i would expect more participation in my life if he wanted me to follow his rules. besides, any person that would let children suffer is a piece of shit,and i’ll be damned(hehe) if i worship a piece of shit.
You must be from hell. Satan’s follower. I know you are.
And you do not know what you are saying, or doing. Believe me.
The best thing to do now is for you to pray. Talk to him.. Ask for forgiveness.. while you have the time.
I’m just curious where you’re coming from..
If we’re from hell, why would we worry about not having enough time to ask for forgiveness?
There’s a bar in hell where jesus and mohammad do a donkey show. Or was that Tijuana? Anyway, jesus rode the hell out of that ass.
Personally, I LOVE this site! Everyone with any sense should laugh at jesus!! Jesus is an asshole piece of shit little bastard who deserves to be destroyed. Fuck you, jesus! I don’t need you except to make fun of you, you asswipe!
Keep up the good work on this site, guys!Keep ripping into jesus all you want! Blow the prick’s brains out, for all I care!
Everyone on this comments page is getting trolled hard. 10/10.
I’d like to apologize to everyone for creating niggers.
This is just another mis-informed, no, ignorant group of people spreading mis-information. To really cause a lot of grief and death, one needs to be an atheist. The atheists of the 20th century have, with out a doubt, caused more deaths than any other group, IN HISTORY!
R. J. Rummel has made a study of democide, the killing of people by
governments in the 20th century. The Chinese Communists alone have far exceeded even the
wildest estimates of Genghis Khan
China, communists – 77M dead
U.S.S.R. communists – 62M
Colonialism, Africa, Asia – 51M*
Germany, Nazi – 21M
China, Nationalist – 10M
Japan, WW II – 3-10.5M
Cambodia communists – 2M
Vietnam communists – 1.7M
Yugoslavia communist(Tito)- 1M
North Korea – 1.7M
pre-20th century ————
Mongols (Genghis Khan) – Low 28M, Mid 30M, Hi 31.5M
China – Low 14M, mid 34M, Hi 91M
N. & S. American Indians – Low 10M, Mid 14M, Hi 25M
Slavery, African, Arab, Orient, Americas – low, 4M, Mid 17M & Hi 66M, most died in Africa.
India, Moslems/Hindus – 4.5M
20th Century, see:
http://www.hawaii.edu/powerkills/20TH.HTM
pre-20th Century ,see:
http://www.hawaii.edu/powerkills/SOD.TAB2.1A.GIF
http://www.hawaii.edu/powerkills/SOD.TAB2.1B.GIF
* Primarily Belgium, spanned 19-20th centuries.
Democide_: The murder of any person or people by a government,
including genocide, politicide, and mass murder. Ref:
http://www.hawaii.edu/powerkills/DBG.CHAP2.HTM
Now what was that about religion?
LOVE IT! GREAT!
Thanks a lot for this site. Whenever I feel sad or demotivated I take a look at your hatemail and after a few laughts I start to feel better
To know that there are lot of people unable to think for themselves… It’s something that we humans need to change.
Quote by “idiots”: “Your so ignorant you think everything in the world is just appeared, ask yourself that question bitch how did you get here? science cant even answer that question. I feel bad for your ignorant ass.”
I found funny this quote here, it says we’re ignorant and we have to ask ourselves how we got here and science can’t explain it… but some dudes back 2000 yrs ago in robes knew where they came from ? LOL if you ask yourself where you came from, you don’t have answer, scientists don’t have an answer, because HUMANS DONT have an answer, and no robed mofos are certainly knowing the answer, for all i care, they told a amazing story so they could eat a day longer, and what a story they told, it consumed people’s most people brains.
love it, i want to be a part of this site
Went into a friend’s church service a few weeks ago on the fence… came out an atheist. Religious people are deluded. Love what you’re doing, spreading the truth in the most hilarious, provocative way possible. Keep on taking the piss!
Fuck Jesus……Fuck His Mother…LOL
Fuck Bible and Fuck Heaven.
And send Jesus to suck my Cock.
You all suck my venous penis (twice a day)
Lol is right. awesome! Nice to see there are some people left who realize the idiocy of an “imaginary sky being”. The only one with “god like” powers here is the earth itself. Wake up people. The apocalypse won’t be coming from who you worship but from what you’ve destroyed!
A suggestion for everyone commenting that is pro-religion and/or against this website for whatever reason.
If you’re going to attack the owners/contributors/one-time or frequent visitors of this website, at least do so intelligently.
I.e. not writing out your thoughts in incoherent and/or poorly structured sentences. Oh, and learn how to spell.
Your beliefs, not you’re beliefs.
Our beliefs, not hour beliefs.
Its please, not plz.
By the way, idiot who posted about atheists causing deaths. Mongolians were not atheists. In fact, they were one of the most religiously tolerant groups of people in the history of mankind. Furthermore, their religious preferences varied between each of the empires four appendages when it was at its highpoint. This means there were Buddhist, Muslim, Christian, and even some Jewish Mongols. They also promoted religious tolerance among their people, and did not condone discrimination on the basis of faith. Moron.
Also, by definition, an atheist is someone who does not believe in any form of god, higher power, or “supreme force.” Many of the country’s you listed do not fall into that category, as Buddhism/Shinto (popular faiths in East Asian/Asian cultures), are both religions. Just because they’re not the same as Christianity doesn’t mean they don’t qualify as a form of faith. Adherents to said faiths cannot be called atheists. The point is, again, you’re an uneducated moron. Get your facts straight.
Concerning the post that ends with “P.S. Atheism is a set of beliefs concerning the universe and it’s workings, A.K.A, a religion.”….
Ok? Atheists don’t have beef with the definition of religion. Its just a word. The beef is with people who believe in irrational, stupid concepts and allow their lives to be controlled by them.
“Hell is a pretty hot place – are you sure you want to spend eternity there after you die?”
Mike- Have you been there recently?
Hey, no LOLJesus updates in months? I gave up the Catholic church and turned Athiest in May. There have been no posts since then. Coincidence or something strange that happens the same time as something else? Please post more goodies. My facebook wall needs you.
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The first thing to which I will admit is the simple fact that I have not explored the entirety of your web site. I have examined a random sampling of pages here, and perused a host of the relevant comments.
Secondly, and of perhaps more significance, I am not only a follower of Jesus but, a well educated pastor of many years standing. Context is everything.
I have enjoyed the humor in much of what I find here. Not everything of course, there is a fair representation of juvenile absurdity that I find more pathetic than funny, but still a goodly portion of creative humor aimed at taking the starch out of more pompous believers.
I don’t so much see you all laughing at God, or Jesus, as at the more irritating, over-blown, and self-important ideas about God, or Jesus, held by too many believers. So many people, especially in the United States, seem to have reduced Jesus to a sentimental lucky charm of some kind. All of the horrid, cartoonish, images of sweet alien baby Jesus, or Casper the friendly Jesus, or my-best-buddy Jesus. We like a handsome, muscular, heroic Jesus who is equally at home kick-boxing in an MMA match, fishing for bass with uncle Ernie, or listening to all your boyfriend troubles while he rubs your shoulders and tells you confidently that Allan will regret breaking up with you.
These absurd and meaningless images cry out to be made fun of, the comic book nature of the Jesus too many people find appealing is the absolute nadir of post-Christian sentimentality. This is the infomercial Jesus of the late night fundamentalist snake-oil salesmen; the Jesus that glows in the dark to keep you from falling down the stairs when you want that sandwich at 3:00 AM. This is the magical unicorn Jesus who, if you say all the right words in just the right way, will grant you three wishes.
Of course there is the equally absurd racist, bigoted, angry Jesus who is all set to clock you if you don’t “refudiate†the right social minorities, people whose opinions conflict with Glen Beck’s noxious gas-baggery, or take a sufficiently vicious stand against bleeding-heart liberal pond scum. That is a very popular American Christian vision just now, and one equally worthy of contemptuous ribaldry.
None of these images is honest or accurate, but they are easier to sell and easier to live with than the Jesus who, in scripture, calls people to set aside selfish indulgence and concern in order to live a life of genuine compassion.
I am all in favor of poking fun at the way God and Jesus are portrayed and manipulated to further the self-sanctifying ends of way too many people. Go for it; let the games begin.
What does the “Che Guevara Last Supper” mean? I see the upper half of a body with a head that might be Jesus’ or Che’s, and a massacred torso related, I suppose, to the the meaning of the eucharist (based on the Last Supper): Jesus giving his blood for us in the form of wine. But is the Evil One is behind all this?? This is A serious enquiry, and I want to reproduce the pic in a book called Chescristo.
Who did this blasphemous picture? With what intention? To what reactions out there?
I admire anything that questions religion. However people need to get a little more creative with their Jesus bashing. It’s just “buttfuck” this and “burn Christ’ corpse” that. I realize we are just trying to piss off religious apologists but there are smarter ways to do and say it.
@Chev LOLJesus is not a thinking man’s site, think of it as the poop and fart jokes of Atheism.
Don’t over thing it bro!
True Jay. But it saddens me that religious nutbags read our site and see we are filled with just as much nonsensical rhetoric as they are. Some comments are funny though I’ll give ‘em that.
As a Satanist, this is probably the BESTTTTTT site I’ve EEEEEEVVVVVEEEERRRRRRRR found!!!!! ^.^
Hail Satan.
I am a Christian… but i still find this site fucking hilarious!
#TEAMSATAN
Please look into finding the truth before you commit to hating Jesus. This is a lie, trick and pure evil.
And I thought I was the sensible one. Thanks for setitng me straight.
this is such Unchristian American humour i wished for just a bit more satire and navigation could be improved . I am Christian but don’t let me affect your view of me don hate or discriminate BTW why does website only have anti Christian jokes why not throw some anti-Semitic and anti Islamic stuff in too.
Allah rode the skinbus to browntown a while ago.
http://loljesus.com/allah-rides-the-skinbus-to-browntown/
tEkhGi http://www.RUWE5gOde94HqsfDYIh3uBfJfSMdiDSG.com
I believe in a form of God and I still think this site is hilarious! Why not?! We really don’t know for sure what is true. But I think that religion is just another way for some people to feel powerful and control the people who just want to be led. I prefer to think for myself.
allah is a pig jesus is a gardner buddah is adicted to pot satanists are sad christians scientologists are fucking retarded hare chrishnas are hippies and atheists are angry people who have no imagenation but god GOD there is only one GOD
and thats ……………………..ME!!!!!!
ps.sorry for my spelling but between awnsering prayrs and creating the universe i didnt really have time to learn to read and write hehehe