LolJesus.com - Jesus Jokes for Atheists and Religious Nuts

RockStar Deadpool: Who is the next to visit Jesus (or Satan)?

Jaygermiester — Tue, 25 May 2010 00:00:11 +0000

With off of these recent death involving rockstars like Dio, Peter Steele, and Paul Gray (Slipknot)…who do you think will be going to see Jesus (or the Devil) first?

Online Surveys & Market Research

The names are presented in a random order.

Muslims Are Still The Douchyest!

Jaygermiester — Fri, 14 May 2010 07:38:13 +0000

Here’s proof…

LOLJesus.com is “as bad as human trafficing”?

Jaygermiester — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 01:33:31 +0000

On Apr 9, 2010, at 11:59 PM, megan wrote:

Dear Jay,
I strongly disagree with your website! If you do not take it down right away I will report it! What you are doing in this website is just as bad as human trafficking (modern day slavery)! Even if it is supposed to be a joke, it is taken seriously to most people. It has been taken way out of hand and is extremely disrespectful.

Sincerely,
Lexi

Apostle Brownnosering!

Jaygermiester — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 08:55:29 +0000

Thanks Nicole.

Very funny!

420 Jesus

Jaygermiester — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 08:52:05 +0000

Thanks Jochen.

Great one BTW.

Jesus was a ghost…well, duh??

Jaygermiester — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 08:49:36 +0000

Thanks Gene!

More Jesus jokes…

Jaygermiester — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 20:28:07 +0000

Jesus owed the romans alot of money, so one day Jesus walked up to twelve men and said “i have an idea, i need to fake my death”. After telling them the idea, one of the men said “wont this piss off the romans?”. and Jesus said, ‘in the end, we are the ones who will have the last laugh”. So after he was nailed to the cross, everyone thought he was dead and gone, and the Romans didnt think much of it from there. Three days later, two of the twelve men came to him and told him that they fell for it! The men asked him “what should we tell anyone if they start to ask where you went? the romans might catch on”. Jesus replied, “tell them that I am the son of god and make sure that my obituary says this.” After about a year later, feeling so bad about killing the son of god, the people decided to worship him to ensure a good standing with god. The twelve men found Jesus in Sodom one day and told him this, and Jesus said “oh shit. Well just roll with it. These people go through gods like underwear. Nothing bad can come of this, it’ll wear off soon”.

Thanks Jo.

A Couple Jesus Jokes For You

Jaygermiester — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 08:11:05 +0000

1. Jesus walks over to a crowd that is about to stone a prostitute, he stops the crowd and says to them all “let he who is without sin, cast the first stone” at that a woman in the back tosses a stone. Jesus looks over the crowd at the woman then yells ” MOTHER, SOMETIMES YOU REALLY PISS ME OFF”

2. and Jesus said unto his 12 apostles as he was being nailed to the cross.
‘Don’t touch my fuckin Easter eggs. I’ll be back on Monday!’

Too soon?

Jaygermiester — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 05:25:06 +0000

Hah.

Thanks Adam!

Zombie Jesus

Jaygermiester — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 05:21:48 +0000