Just overheard a drunk-Jesus-loving-Christian-redbeck trying to talk to an obviously-gay-dude out of being gay because, “God thinks it’s a sin” made my conversation about “fucking two girls at the same time that whose ages added up was less than yours” seem like the second most offensive conversation in the restaurant. #classic

Up until today there have been two lawsuits against god.

In 2007, Nebraska State Senator, Ernie Chambers sued God to prove a point. He wanted to show that anyone can sue another person for almost any reason.
Chambers lawsuit, which was filed in Douglas County Court, seeks a permanent injunction ordering God to cease certain harmful activities and the making of terroristic threats.

The lawsuit admits God goes by all sorts of alias, names, titles and designations and it also recognizes the fact that the defendant is omnipresent.

In the lawsuit, Chambers said he’s tried to contact God numerous times.

The suit also requests that the court, given the peculiar circumstances of this case, waive personal service. It said that being omniscient, the plaintiff assumes God will have actual knowledge of the action.

The lawsuit accuses God “of making and continuing to make terroristic threats of grave harm to innumerable persons, including constituents of Plaintiff who Plaintiff has the duty to represent.” It says God has caused “fearsome floods, egregious earthquakes, horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornadoes, pestilential plagues, ferocious famines, devastating droughts, genocidal wars, birth defects and the like.”

The suit also says God has caused “calamitous catastrophes resulting in the wide-spread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth?s inhabitants including innocent babes, infants, children, the aged and infirm without mercy or distinction.”
Chambers also says God “has manifested neither compassion nor remorse, proclaiming that defendant will laugh” when calamity comes.

Chambers asks for the court to grant him a summary judgment. He said as an alternative, he wants the judge to set a date for a hearing as expeditiously as possible and enter a permanent injunction enjoining God from engaging in the types of deleterious actions and the making of terroristic threats described in the lawsuit.

In the second lawsuit, a Romanian prisoner sued God claiming that God failed to keep him from the Devil. “God received different material valuables from me, as well as prayers in exchange for promises of a better life. In reality, this did not happen – I found myself in the devil’s hands”

Unless you are truly into some Satanic death metal fan, you might not know who Gaahl from Gorgoroth is but he delivered one of the most unintentionally funny interviews of all time of the movie “A Headbangers Journey” (see clip here)…

How does this relate to Jesus? Well, if you are going to get so freaked out my Satan you’ve got to be believe in God / Jesus too.

Nobody does a better job of looking stupid while doing this that Gaahl from Gogoroth.

Be LOLJesus friend on Facebook.

And the problem is?

Read all about it here…
http://news.yahoo.com/iraq-militia-stone-youths-death-emo-style-171115804.html

At least those dune coons get one thing right!!