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I went up to lady wearing a pro-life shirt in a store, pushed my stomach out and asked if she knew where the hangers were.
madar choda …ma chudegi bhaut jaldi tmhari…shuld b ashamed of wht u pple r doing..u fucked up satanic pple..ass holes ma k lauro bati chodo bhan k lauro ganduo jhantuo ..
lund bhur jhante site vale chainte
I touched myself to Jesus today.
WTF all the religious people are still here! I thought they were fucking leaving??? Hhahahahahahah!
I was in a church mass, listening to the priest preach. I could not stop thinking about big breasts, and I started to get horny. I excused myself to go to the bathroom in the church. I locked myself in a stall and got on the toilet and unzipped. And I started to jack off. It took me forty minutes to cum. People were coming in and out of the bathroom. I was afraid if they would hear me. But finally I came. Then I went back to my bench feeling all satisfied.
Are you going to damn me now, God? Or have I been damned long ago?
I am an atheist, and its kind of sad how dimwitted these comments are. I’m glad that the designers of this site found some humor in our shared lack of religion, but most of you give atheists a bad name. We are all on the same side here people so how about something clever or educated?
I encourage anyone serious about atheism to bone up on some literature…such as ‘The God Delusion’ by Richard Dawkins; ‘The Grand Theory’ by Stephen Hawking, or ‘Why I Am Not A Christian’ by Bertrand Russell.
Furthermore if you consider yourself to be satanic (as many of these comments insinuate) well than congratulations you are merely the opposite side of the religious coin. Meaning you are just as much as a believer as “them”. So please use your fucking brains friends! Studies show that atheist/freethinkers etc. Tend to have on average an IQ five points higher than that of its religious counterpart. Do your research comrades and enough of the rape and masturbation talk.
However if you were going to leave a clever confession you could say something like: “I sold my soul to the devil, but I didn’t give him a receipt so I think I’m good”
LIKE!!
I heard that too!
Jay, I was one of the Admins on the forums back a few years ago, they gonna go back up again?
I once fucked my sister, she came home all drunk and wasted and walked the house naked.. then she passed out in my room, and i fucked her anus til it bleed.
i steel shit every time i can,and i smoke and drink a LOT
What the fuck is wrong with most of your commenters! Whether you believe in God or not, it doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t live with morals. There is a difference between being just a normal good person who speaks respectfully and kindly to others, and a homophobic, pro-life, scary Jesus freak who is a member of a branch of Christianity with less than 10 followers. Really people, if the only purpose of your life is to be a hopeless troll who faps off at the computer screen 24/7 and happen to find this page, than what the fuck is your reason for even living. This site was intended for atheists, not satanists, not crazyass Rambo self-righteous Christians, or anything thing else. fuck off.
89% agree with MrMan
this one time when i was a little kid my dad saw me tying to fuck a below
i choose to fallow the path of Satan,by being me and not praying to a god that does’t get who i am.
Not all gays are atheists…
But all atheists are gay!
i make fun of god everyday
haha god your not even real
alert (“test”)
I dont follow any religions but I have beliefs, I also have a sense of humor, and I do not get offended easily xD so I will keep coming back
I love LOLJesus I talk to iGod, if im going to hell for that then im going to hell laughing ;D
get the fuck out my house you jesus lover
I am a christian who believes Grigori Rasputin is a saint, and I would totally toke up with that nun back there, and go to pentecost feelin slightly tossed.
I pray to God Almighty, and realize he didst create the heavens, earth, and apprecieate ALL his worthy creations, Heavenly, and Hellish.
In the end, we all want to do good, with or without a title, let’s just do good.
I also feel certain christians I know are more sinful then all satanists I ever met, Also atheists, I’m yet to meet a cruel and hateful atheist as well to be honest, I would say go with jesus and kick over the cash crop found in faith. Churches are spewing nonsense and creating confusion, atheists are following closer to the saviour then the faithful at times, Ive seen peaceful and harmonized so called “un-faithful” more then I have seen a christian who doesn’t judge or persecute others, even though we are called not to in the commandments.
The only thing is that atheists like to poke fun at the religious .. then .. so what? why not laugh at the persecution and go in on some drinks with them later? hang out, create peace and still believe, keep your faith to yourself, stop hounding unbelievers and you might then realize they are so more totally cool then you keep assuming, and placing judgement is also a way of saying “Hi, I’m better then you so you suck and have to change.”
Stop doing that, keep to your practices, trust in the Lord, and just chill peeps.
God Bless
i had sex in the missionary position for the purpose of procreation
Im a christian who is not crazy and appreciate all humour from this website, and my sin is watching twilight O_O
Good for you
I had lesbian sex with mary :3 i dont wanma burn in hell and it felt really good when she licked my vagina mmmmm
I am a human beeing, aparently god doesnt like it.
to some of the posters here; we are just having fun, it doesn’t mean we actually did or do or will do the stuff we write about. They’re supposed to be idotic and mean but they’re funny. Fucking chill and let people have their fun
My biggest sin was beliving the christianity in early age
As an atheist, I’m not going to fill this form for Catholics out…
Oh, shit…
Bollocks.
LOL!!!!!!noob……..
LIKE!
I’m sorry about cancer and the bubonic plague, I was just in a foul mood about some bad enchiladas. I’m sorry about the crusades, and jihad, and the inquisition, and witch burnings and suicide bombers, and people who fly into buildings. I’m sorry for deliberately destroying your self esteem by asserting that you are wicked and sinful EVEN if you are a good person. I apologize that I have made you anticipate judgment day. Because of me over a BILLION people ACTUALLY want the world to end, and I understand that that is incredibly dangerous, and i am very sorry for that. I’m sorry about televangelism, I’m sorry about the billions of dollars wasted on churches and preachers. I’m sorry about the billboards and bus signs, I’m sorry about the people who knock on your door every weekend, and the posters and the park benches, web pages and fliers, ect. ect. I’m sorry about the bogus legislation. I’m sorry that modern public policies are constantly being pressured to conform to an ancient book. I apologize on behalf of my followers who try to control who can and can’t get married. I am sorry I made you believe that women aren’t equal. THEY ARE. I’m sorry if I made anyone think that slavery is okay. IT ISN’T. I’m sorry that Christians oppress people then laughably claim that they are the ones being persecuted. THEY AREN’T. I apologize for making people think there is a place called Hell. Only a terrorist would hijack your soul and make demands of submission. I’m sorry that you thought you’d be tortured forever regardless of your transgressions. From the murderer to the masturbater, with all sinners receiving equal punishment. OF COURSE this is highly unfair and UNTRUE. I’m sorry that my followers tell Atheists that they hate me. I realize that Atheists don’t even BELIEVE in me, AND FOR GOOD REASON. I have provided no evidence for my existence when all I had to do is simply show myself and I do realize that doing so would have no effect on free will which I don’t want to interfere with, even though I used to do it all the time. I’m sorry that my followers have stifled scientific progress. I understand that if not for religion, humans would be much more advanced by now. I’m sorry that my followers arrogantly conclude that scientific theories are wrong JUST because they fail to understand them, even while taking for granted the modern lifestyle provided to them by the very scientific processes that they so arrogantly reject. In other words I’m really, REALLY sorry about those creationists. I’m sorry that my followers constantly call people immoral, especially Atheists who are usually amongst the MOST moral of any given populous, and I’m sorry about these negative misconceptions about Atheists. I’m very sorry about the holier than thou Christians that only ACT moral because they fear my punishment. I PRAISE those of you who let your EMPATHY guide your morality. I’m sorry that I made religious people believe that they are accountable to ME rather than their victims. Finally, I am most sorry that the fears and grief of innocent people have been abused and misshaped by religion into a political tool for the selfish gains of the powerful few from ginks to popes, from presidents to prime ministers manipulating the stupid, romantic masses, I am sorry that this selfishness has been around to influence the condition of your very world.
all of you have the reason to be fear ..
I am a practicing Satanist and blaspheme every day. I live next to a church and have recently taped up a picture of the Sigil of Baphomet on my window, looking out. This way, every time they go to church and look this way, they see the symbol of Satan. I’ve also renounced the “Holy Trinity” numerous times. Understand that Satanism is also Atheistic, do research before snapping about worshiping Satan.
SLAYER!!!!!
I slid my dick into a 16 year old blonde with double D’s,forgot to pull my dick out,and exploded into her,now 17,she holds my child as i left her.I now reside in the fiery throneroom that I call my home,and from that child,came the antichrist.
I love my son. <3
If the church is “God’s House,” why doesn’t he pay the hydro bill?
I put a baby in a blender to watch its facial expression. Also, there is no God or Satan. So Satanists and Christian Extremists don’t belong here.
This site is really hard to masturbate to…
i just masturbated and I stop doing it
I HOPE ALL U PEOPLE BURN IN HELL FOR MAKIN FUN OF GOD BT MAY GOD BLESS U ALL U GUYS ARE A BUNCH OF SICK FREAKS AND NEED TO BE SAVED BEFORE ITS TOO LATE GET YA FUKIN MIND RITE WITH THE LORD ONCE AGAIN U FUKIN SICK FREAKS HOW COULD YOU EVEN DOUBT HIM THIS WORLD WAS CREATED BY SOMEONE AND FOR ME IT WAS GOD SO FUK ALL U WORSHIPPIN SATAN FREAKS I KNO I CURSED ND IM A CHRISTIAN I AM JUS PISSED AT WHAT I SEEN ND PLUS NOONE IS PERFECT
AND TO HI WTF IS WRONG WITH U SEE WHAT I MEAN U SICK FUKIN FREAK GO GET SUM U FUKIN BUGGIN LIL BRA
Every devil worshiping freak on this site is totally off their rockers. I can tell that most if not all of you people were picked on as kids cause ya’ll are weird as FUCK and will never fit in with society. How can you even believe in the devil and not believe GOD? That makes no sense. When the time comes and you still go against him, GOD BLESS YOUR SOULS!!!!
It’s called SARCASM you fucking retards. Nobody went home drunk and fucked their sister. Jesus Christ people, don’t use the fucking internet if you take things so seriously. what did you expect from a website called “lol Jesus”
Our father who art in he’ll
SATAN is the name
The kingdom cum
Thy will be done
On earth as it is in he’ll
Give us this day our evil and sin
And lead us into temptation
For we adore those who blaspheme
And those who renounce Jesus Christ
HAIL SATAN
The best sex I ever had was when I was an alter boy.
You jesus hating Jews will burn in hell forever!
Eh.. This kind of talk seems very unusual, even the youtube atheists are smarter than this. I think there might be some christfags trying to make atheists look like immoral and soulless devil-worshippers here.
This hard truth is important for us to come to grips with. Sometimes bad guys win and good guys suffer. Johnny Christian doesn’t always score the touchdown and Paul Pagan doesn’t always fumble the ball. That’s a fact. Do you have a problem with that? Would you rather have a “perfect” universe? Wouldn’t it be great if, after a driver ran you off the road, his car would break down five minutes later? Or if someone cheated you in business, he would go bankrupt the next month? Or if someone got angry and yelled at you, her teeth would fall out that night? Wouldn’t that be wonderful? It certainly would be from a fleshly perspective, but unfortunately you’d have to live in that same “perfect” universe. So if you gossiped about someone, your tongue would turn green. Every time you lusted after another person, more of your hair would fall out. Every time you spent money on something you didn’t need to, the food in your refrigerator would rot overnight. Would you want to live in a world like that? None of us want that kind of instant justice from God. Yet, God’s patience with sin is an incredible blessing. If God was not so patient all of us would come under His immediate judgment.113 We would be wiped out in the blink of an eye. Fortunately, God grants us His mercy and grace. This should lead us to want to be more merciful and gracious with others, to have compassion for those who are in the grips of sin and under the influence of the curse. If these reminders don’t work, then remind yourself that life is harsh and then you die.