What’s the difference between Jesus Christ and an oil painting?

You only need one nail to hold up a picture.

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These videos were introduced to me some 15 years ago by Doyle Bright from the band Rigor Mortis. I never thought I would find them again. Luckily, Judas stumbled onto them online and I’ve got a pretty good collection now.

What makes them even better is they are clowning the incomparable buffoon Robert Tilton, who has been the source of more scandals than R. Kelly and George Bush put together.

Enjoy. Look for more in the coming weeks.

See:
The Farting Preacher

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Why can’t Jesus eat M&M’s?

They keep falling through his hands.

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That “holier than thou” Jesus loving fuck apparently picks and chooses his sins…fucking hypocrite! Mel Gibson was busted in Los Angeles last night for DUI after he was pulled over for driving “extremely fast”.

This is at least the second DUI arrest for Gibson.

Jesus would not be impressed!

See: E Online

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Why can’t Jesus play football?

He wears illegal headgear.

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Jesus getting a blowjob from a demon, while nailed to the cross…now isn’t that quaint?

This post has been brought to you by the good folks at T-Shirt Hell!

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Jesus Christ walks into a hotel. He hands the inkeeper three nails and asks…

“Can you put me up for the night?”

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Only a fool would die for the sins of humanity. A bigger fool would be stupid enough to worship him. Only a total ASSHOLE could be ASSHOLE enough to make his shitlist. Now, I present…Even Jesus Thinks You’re a Jerk! A new asshole will be chosen at intervals of our choosing and listed in this brand new hall of shame!

For my first victim, I was planning doing George Bush, but then this stupid Jesus loving cunt (Andrea Yates) got off a triple homicide charge by invoking the name of Jesus repeatedly to a dozen brainwashed Texas jurors, by saying “she knew drowning her children was illegal, in her delusional mind she thought it was the only way to save her children from eternal damnation.”

Related News:
Associated Press

An Idiot Christian spin on the subject:
Christian Gallery

This message has been brought to you by the lovely sluts from Ball Honeys!

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Hello this is Judas (no relation). I am proud to have been invited to be a contributor to loljesus.com. It is my hope that my contributions will both inspire enlightened thought and eventually lead to my death from the bullet of a gun-loving NRA card-holding christian - that i might become a martyr to those who prefer real opiates. I look forward to the mockery, the blaspeme, and eventually becoming fertilizer.

“Christ be double-fucked”
~ Marquis de Sade, 120 Days of Sodomy

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