Jesus says so right here. I mean hey, if people read the bible and take it word for word, then we should take this image word for word. So tell your children (if you have any) that Jesus hates them and says they are going to hell …

Cruel, LOLJesus Greatest Hits, Misc | 16 Comments »

“Jesus didn’t die, he just went home” — pathetic humor attempt mixing this shitpile we call the bible and a bad quote from the movie Men In Black.

LOLJesus Greatest Hits, Misc | 2 Comments »

This form of talk over the intarweb is rather disturbing. It’s a mix asians trying to speak english and little matrix newbs. Still funny, but pathetic.

Misc | 2 Comments »

So apparently Jesus wore a patch, had a peg leg and talked like a pirate. GG Jesus.

Misc | 3 Comments »

So a friend submitted this to me and I immediately began to laugh. You have to love those penis enlargement emails

Perverted | 1 Comment »

So I decided to share this with you all. I got this email recently from a lady who felt I needed to be saved? Do I — who knows, who cares … but after multiple emails back and forth consisting of her saying that he being an old blonde hag should make me want to follow in Christs footsteps and mad that I have a Jesus is a pedophile post. So read this email she sent me — a prayer email ..

– begin prayer email –

Lord You said where two or more are gathered together
in Your Name, You are in the midst of them. Kat and I
ask You to show Kris something today that proves You
are real. Show him that it isn’t about church
buildings or patronizing religious people. It is about
You. What You did on the cross for us is not worthy of
his site mocking You and making fun of you. But You
did die for all sin, and he would be forgiven. Now
that he knows the truth I pray for him to be
enlightened.

Lord Jesus I know I am a sinner. Come into my heart
and life and control it. Guide my every step and word.
In Jesus Name.
Amen.

– end of email –

What ya think?

Misc | 22 Comments »

So I submitted loljesus.com to CollegeHumor.com and am hoping they approve it. I think you should all go there, or jesus will inflict sin upon you. Yes that’s right, I just found out that jesus can inflict sin as well as forgive. DO IT.

Misc | 1 Comment »

So there I was, sitting at work, and it came to me. You know those fucking “Build A Bear” stores? Start with a naked bear, put on clothing, give it some attitude and poof, you’re out $30. I have a better idea.

Introducing “Build A Thug”

You start off with a naked Jesus doll. You then select which type of thug he should be, such as a mexican, blood, crypt, etc. You then dress him up in a line of clothing, like FUBU. After this you select the drugs, the weapons, and finally a voice box to make him realistic, such as:

“Im Jesus ese`” or “Nigga I didn’t die fo yo sinz” and so on.

Just an idea … opinions?

kthnx

Misc | 9 Comments »